The day I realized I may be making a mistake

Before I begin complaining about all the woes I've endured throughout my experiences, I'd like to say welcome. This blog isn't just for me but for others that need an arena to vent their frustration, share some tips on how to overcome them, and realize they aren't alone.

I'll share my tales of how I got to where I am today, and what I wish I would have done to overcome, or simply handle it better. The reality is no one is perfect. We make mistakes, we get upset, say things we don't mean, shut out those we love, or worse share our woes with people who simply don't have our best interest at heart, take out our anger on those we love, or sometimes keep them bottled in until one day we either implode or worse explode.

So here's my story. I've been married now about 2 years but getting here has been turbulant. The day my husband proposed wasn't very romantic. During one of my many visits to see him, we were doing the whole long distance relationship thing, which worked for me at the time, but he wanted more. He wanted to see me more, spend more time together, and I had eno intention of moving without a ring on my finger, well, not too long after we started dating he proposed. And ladies you know that time between 29 and 30, you hear your clock ticking, your mother complaining she wants you to get married, your aunts calling with new geeked out suiters, your best friends on their 2nd child and third pregnancy, and the sounds of your phone ringing with your own choosen prospects diminishing? You know that age? Well, thats where I was, and I figured this guy is awesome on paper. A doctor, his own house, 2 luxury cars, good income, hard working, seems normal, doesn't seem to party, doesn't seem to womanize, attractive enough. So, this seemed like a decent catch under the curcumstances, but the proposal was so weak. I should have really made more out of it but I was desperate to marry, so I did what any self respect catholic woman would do. I said yes. UGH!!!! the regrets, I still have stomach aches about to this day. The proposal was at the fridge in the morning before he went to work. I was so thrown by the beauty of the 1.7 carat ring I forgot I didn't know this guy as well I'd always told myself I'd wait before accepting a proposal. I screamed yes, and off he went to work. Nothing exciting. But the months of wedding preparation, and change of behavior that followed wasn't all worth it.

So, here are my tips of wisdom.
The key is to WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!! Plain and simple just . Unless you have been in a long term relationship that's spanned 3 years or more, and you are well established financially, do not hurry into anything you may not be ready for. These days marriages don't always pan out, and these aren't the times of our parents where we stuck with our mates no matter what. Couples of yesteryear were different. They were more tolerate, accepting, and peaceful. They truly understood the value of family. And there was no internet online cheating, people of loose morals to sway you from your family, etc. We on the other hand are a completely different generation of women and men, that may want more from our mate. I'll be honest our expectations are often unrealistic. Just because he looks good on paper doesn't make him a good mate for you, or vise versa. Money does not make a good mate, and lack there of often creates problems we aren't always ready for. Let me use a very modern day example.

JON & KATE from Jon and Kate plus 8. These are 2 people who were mismatched from the very beginning. Jon a passive agressive with a wandering eye, hooks a shrud, often overbearing woman that wants her way. Well, she wats marriage and a family, and he ends up with 8 kids he was never really ready for, nor really wanted to begin with.

Both these people have no real way to support 8 children, and Kate should have seen her overbearing nature was driving Jon to seek comfort and love elsewhere. Should they have stopped to really look at themselves before they said I do? Absolutely, but now they have 8 children with no real means aside from television to support or care for these kids. The "reality" is they were never really right for each other to begin with and much like me, should have realized the mistake they were making from the very day Jon proposed. Post your thoughts on proposals that should have been pro no-nos.