The crying game...And I don't mean the movie

Crying has become a daily affair for me.  I cry from frustration with my marriage.  I cry from regret for having gotten married to such a horrible person.  I cry that my family isn't here to support me.  I cry from resentment toward my family for forcing me into this horrid marriage.  I cry because my husband is the biggest jerk in the world.  I cry because I don't feel loved by anyone.  I cry because my one year old doesn't give me 5 minutes to myself to just read, or cry alone, or just pray. I cry because my daughter doesn't deserve to be in a home without love. I cry because I wish I had money to put my daughter in daycare and look for work. I cry because my jerk of a spouse who prides himself in being the primary bread winner won't buy my daughter a new car seat.  I cry because it has taken me 2 hours just to type this blog while chasing my daughter all over the computer room, putting papers back that she's thrown all over the place, the trash she's over turned 3 times.  taken her to the bathroom twice to wash her hands, put her back in the chair, taken her for a walk around the hotel, since my jerk of a husband has refused to allow me to go anywhere with the car while he sleeps in the room, and we are couped up here simply because I wanted to try stop this jerk from pulling a tiger woods and cheating while out of town. So, we came with him.  OMG!!!!! what has my life turned into.  Am I the only woman in the world that is going through this?  Why can't this man that pleaded and begged me to take him back treat me with one iota of kindness and respect?  Why is it so difficult to just be nice to me.  For god sakes he is nice to his baby mama, why not me?  WTF!!!!!  I don't deserve this.  I am so sick of crying and feeling miserable. And the worst part is counseling hasn't helped one bit.  I have to find money i don't have pay a woman that doses off during my sessions, then tells me I'm not going to tell you what to do, then I'm left where I started in the first place.  i h\just don't get it.  Or maybe its just more simple than i want to think.  Let me keep it simple.  The bastard is cheating and really doesn't give a rat's ass about me.  I seem not to be able to face reality because I keep praying and hoping things will change.  So here's my wake up call.  I can't keep being disrespected.  i can't keep going through the pain.  I am tired of it.