The white women treat their men better myth

Sadly, I watch way too much TV.  I was watching an episode of the  dramady "The Game" on BET.  I love each character on the show.  They all seem like many of the shallow individuals I grew up with in Los Angeles.  So, in this episode Tasha Mack/Single MAMA/Momager to star QB Malik Wright/ lonely woman turns to Kelley her assistant/ stereotypical athlete's wife/white girl married to black man/ docile wife that gives in to everything.  Anyway, the conversation begins when tasha is confronted with dealing with her demons of being the finger snapping, trash talking in your face, chip on her shoulder black woman that many americans tend to label all black women.  Tasha goes to Kelley and asks her how she does it.  How does she tolerate Jason's bull****?  How does she make her man feel more important than he is.  I thought about that for a moment.  Is that true, are white women really these marriage or relationship miracle workers that somehow learn to manage their men into believing they are a top priority?  Is that also true for asian women? What about African women who are supposed to be submissive to their husbands, and let's not forget middle eastern women.  What about them?  Do women of these varying backgrounds truly buy into this crap about putting their marriage, or husbands first?  Do you fall into that white woman myth?

Publisher's clearing house advertising on Oprah

So, today I'm watching Oprah and am watching her show about millionares that have won their money through publisher's clearing house.  Like many of you out there, i'm sure you were also skeptical about the legitimacy of the company.  I never believed those commericals were real.  but now that they've essentially advertised on Oprah to show they are real.  Guess how many millions of housewives are now going to send in their applications subscriptions to Publisher's you know I will.  in this economy.  I'm just as desperate as the next man, but sadly here's my dilemma.  If I were to win the money from Publisher's I'd have to share my winnings with my A-hole of a spouse.  And yes its the law.  Would I be richer, yes, so it shouldn't matter  that I'd have to share the money.  He'd still have to pay child support.  But, I'd be happily away from him and his millions and I would be in the carribean with mine.  Ok maybe not the carribean, but some where nice with my kids.  So, here's my question to anyone out there that wants to answer.  If you were in a miserable marriage and suddenly won millions of dollars, and realized you'd have to share your winning with your jackass of a spouse, would you
A. Share your winnings and happily divorce them and be glad you have enough to sustain yourself
B. Fight them for every penny in court, until you've bled them dry
C. Stay married, and hope your spouse doesn't pull a tiger woods
D. Find another alternative (please nothing drastic, I'm trying to keep this at least PG 13)

Here are my thoughts,  I have a spouse who as we speak has already announced that within the week I give birth to our next child he'll be off to a weekend in Vegas with his highschool buddies.  I'm like you've got to be kidding me.  But if i were suddenly rich, I would simply split the money, mediate other terms with a lawyer and be on my way.  Its not worth the grief to fight with an A-hole.  but i must admit it would be wishful thinking because this is the same a-hole that offered me $500 a month to take of a child when he makes a significant 6 figure income of course he learned in court you have to go by what your income and the percentage for child support by law dictates you pay should would I truly believe this jerk should pay me what's appropriate?  God always works in miraclous ways.  Why am I even thinking about winning publisher's clearinghouse and the lottery?  Because I need the money, and i know I would give back.  I already have a list of people I would give things to.  Anyway, share your thoughts if interested.
B.

The crying game...And I don't mean the movie

Crying has become a daily affair for me.  I cry from frustration with my marriage.  I cry from regret for having gotten married to such a horrible person.  I cry that my family isn't here to support me.  I cry from resentment toward my family for forcing me into this horrid marriage.  I cry because my husband is the biggest jerk in the world.  I cry because I don't feel loved by anyone.  I cry because my one year old doesn't give me 5 minutes to myself to just read, or cry alone, or just pray. I cry because my daughter doesn't deserve to be in a home without love. I cry because I wish I had money to put my daughter in daycare and look for work. I cry because my jerk of a spouse who prides himself in being the primary bread winner won't buy my daughter a new car seat.  I cry because it has taken me 2 hours just to type this blog while chasing my daughter all over the computer room, putting papers back that she's thrown all over the place, the trash she's over turned 3 times.  taken her to the bathroom twice to wash her hands, put her back in the chair, taken her for a walk around the hotel, since my jerk of a husband has refused to allow me to go anywhere with the car while he sleeps in the room, and we are couped up here simply because I wanted to try stop this jerk from pulling a tiger woods and cheating while out of town. So, we came with him.  OMG!!!!! what has my life turned into.  Am I the only woman in the world that is going through this?  Why can't this man that pleaded and begged me to take him back treat me with one iota of kindness and respect?  Why is it so difficult to just be nice to me.  For god sakes he is nice to his baby mama, why not me?  WTF!!!!!  I don't deserve this.  I am so sick of crying and feeling miserable. And the worst part is counseling hasn't helped one bit.  I have to find money i don't have pay a woman that doses off during my sessions, then tells me I'm not going to tell you what to do, then I'm left where I started in the first place.  i h\just don't get it.  Or maybe its just more simple than i want to think.  Let me keep it simple.  The bastard is cheating and really doesn't give a rat's ass about me.  I seem not to be able to face reality because I keep praying and hoping things will change.  So here's my wake up call.  I can't keep being disrespected.  i can't keep going through the pain.  I am tired of it.   

Parenthood and marriage & THE WORLD' STRICTEST PARENTS

Throughout history many couples have been able to manage parenthood and marriage harmoniously.  What's their secret?  Is it a magic wand that casts a spell over the home to bring peace, love, fairness, and justice into what is their family?  Or can be setting standards and  developing rules and guidleines of respect for one another in the home?  I've always envisioned harmony and a united front.  I've watched the TV show on CMT called World's Strictest Parents.  Its sort of Nanny 911 with butt kicking boots for teenagers.  Here's what I like and dislike.  I love the idea that they show families that are unitied in the common goal to guide their children towards being respectful responsible men and women.  I love the fact that they show families that still function.  What I don't get is taking an obnoxious teenager from their dysfunctional home for a period of about 2 weeks, settling them into routines, rules, restrictions, and essentially getting them on a path to stability, and then suddenly bringing their biological parents out to see their progress and then send them right back into the dysfunctional environment from whence they came.  What is the purpose of that?  I believe those kids and their parents need more time to live in a guided and perhaps restricted environment and also give their parents the resources and tools needed to handle their teens upon their return home.  

Tips: Work with your partner or fellow parent ( if you're not married) to come up with some agreements as to how your child will be raised. Discuss school, birthdays, holidays, gifts, TV time, etc.  So, work together, and embrace parenthood, and your relationships will bloom and blossom. 

How to change your husband by Friday...the Book..Can this really work?

Hello again,

Its been quite some time since I last posted. So, I bought the book, Have A New Husband By Friday written by Dr. Kevin Leman. I'm only on page 29 so I can't really share anything I've gained from it thus far. I'm sure you're wondering, you had to get a self help book? If its gotten to that point your case is hopeless... Maybe, maybe not. Have you heard the saying nothings too hard for God? Well, I was in the Christian Life Book Store this morning searching for a book and there it was. I'd heard this guy being interviewed on "Good Morning America" and I thought it was a great book title but to wasn't too convinced it could work. But I figured why not, I came in for something else, and perhaps God was steering me a different way. So, am I hoping it works? Heck yes! But here's my question to anyone that wants to answer. Have you reached the point in your relationship where you're making a last ditch effort to salvage the damage? Do you think you can change your spouse, or it is yo?