When does the marriage blues go away?

I woke up this morning dreading my husband coming home.  Its sad, I truly don't look forward to seeing him.  He is the most selfish, careless, inconsiderate, tiresome, self absorbed son of a bitch, and I do mean that as I can't stand his mother, I've ever met.  As I chatted with my cousin yesterday about his marriage it occurred to me that he and his wife had come a very long way from where they used to be when they first got married.  I mean my cousin was constantly berading his wife, and yelling at her, but that has now all changed they have found some ground where there is a genuine respect for one another.  I had another family member that also went through a very bitter divorce and they too managed to get it together and led a very happy life, and come to a compromise that enabled them to resolve their marital woes, but how?  I've found that many people won't fully disclose what they had to do to truly rebuild the damage they'd done in their relationship.  My spouse believes that my world should center around pleasing him, and that is what life is about.  He has made it his goal to change me, and sadly I am extremely bothered by his efforts to do so.  I have never resented someone so much in my life.  I thought I had a deep seeded resentment toward my father for the abuse and tortre he put my mom through, and knowing this information my spouse tends to relay all our issues to how well behaved my mother was to my father and how much she did as she was told.  As a child I hated watching my father treat my mother with such lack of respect it sickened me.  On many occassions I would pray my mom would leave him, and even plead with her to do so, and what I got in turn was either a sound slap across the face, or a severe beating for suggesting such a thing.  My mom believes because my husband isn't as bad as my dad was that I shouldn't complain, but abuse is abuse no matter what the degree.  The memories haunt me, and sadly I fear my daughter my experience the same.  I watch how my husband treats her, and it frightens me, because he shows her kindness, sometimes so much it makes me uncomfortable the kind of affection he shows her.  Then turns around and treats me with complete disdain.  I hate him. I hate him for what he has done to me.  I pray for God to forgive me and give me strength to cope but its so very hard.  God help me please. PLEASE!!!!!