Be patient, Pray, give it time, it is well... what the hell does that mean?

I have heard all those statements so many times its really beginning to irritate the hell out of me.  Be patient for what? What I am supposed to be patient for?  Is something coming that I should look forward to?  Should I be expecting 20 million dollars if I keep my mouth shut and listen to my spouse constantly put me down all day long?  Am I getting a new car if I pretend I don't even hear words from his mouth?  Give it time...give what time????? "It" refers to the situation I'm living under.  Should I assume with time, I will become ajusted to being treated like shit and it will become a nonissue?  Give it time, and perhaps he will change, or eventually I'll out live him?  Oh here's another popular saying amongst foreigners..."it is well" .  WTF do you mean it is well, if it were well, I wouldn't be crying my eyes out everyday.  Its funny, I'll never forget the episode of extreme makeover home improvement where there was a widow, and she couldn't get over the fact that she had lost her first love, her soul mate, and best friend and couldn't seem to cope without him.  Me???? each day he walks out the door I hope he gets hit by a car.  First love my ass, soul mate my ass,  why can't horrible people end up together and make each other fucking miserable?  Or wait, could that be my fate?  Is that why I'm being punished?  Maybe I had all this coming?  I thought Karma came when I was raped, I thought karma came when I lost my brother, I thought karma came several different times, so why is this lasting longer than usual? I have asked God to help me, but its sad, I guess I'm being punished because I am always focused on myself and my misery.  These types of things are supposed to make one stronger, but instead, I sink lower into self hatred, and loathing of him, and resentment for being in this situation.  He reminded me that I finally told him why I make him wear a condomn.  I don'twant to catch anything.  I know he's fooling around on me but he will never own up to it, then will blatantly say only cowards cheat, you think I'm afraid of you?  Funny enough I do think he is somewhat afraid of me.  I think he's afraid if I find out I have grounds to get out of this, for good.  Right now, I can't prove the abuse as of yet.  He's gotten better at covering his tracks of making sure, I have no bruises or he does it in a manner not considered physical assault.  David L. let him get away with beating me.  I don't know how he couldn't see what he had done to me.  I guess when he does go to work tonight all I can hope is he gets hit  by a bus.  I know it sounds cruel, but its just wishful thinking.  I know I shouldn't so I will PRAY that God forgives me for hating him so much, and allowing me peace of mind to let the pain go.   Go SAINTS!!!