So this morning I overhear my spouse speaking to someone laughing and carrying on. Then he calls his sister to give the witch an update on his bastard's (the child he had out of wedlock with someone else) travel plans. So as I stand there preparing our toddler's breakfast trying to pretend not to have heard anything I am very bothered by the fact that he would make plans to have his child here for 2 months, during the period that I will be having our second child, and without family present to help me cope. So, I'm baffled by all what is happening. I am supposed to be the person he shares this sort of information with even talking to me about their arrival and their plans for the summer, but no thats not the case. So, I inquire to him why he made no mention to me of her arrival or departure, or which dates would be best suited considering I'll be giving birth, and it may be a bit challenging to have her here during that period. He scolds me and tells me I have no right to dictate to him what happens with his daughter. So, I keep quiet but angry with myself for dating a man with a kid. For some strange reason, men with children have not only a responsiblity to that child they had, but this unbroken attachment to the woman they had that child with. Thats something I never wanted to be a part of . I'd watched other women go through the painful process of dealing with men with children out of wedlock, and frankly it often created turmoil in their marriage, or simply broke them up. I have 2 children with this guy. I keep trying to figure out how to cope with certain situations when they arise. So, I found this article of helpful tips. But my situation isn't one that allows for an open line with my spouse about his daughter in our home. My mom will be here and I worry about how thing will play out. I pray God helps me.
Dealing with step-children is not a clear-cut process that you can establish easily. Your relationship with your spouse plays a direct role in determining how you will deal with the step-children. While every situation will be different, here are some basic steps on how to deal with step-children.
Talk with your spouse about rules, structure and discipline. You have to present a unified front on these issues with a list of house rules that are in effect no matter what
Step 2
Let your spouse deal with discipline at first. You have to establish yourself in the step-children's lives before you can discipline them effectively.
Step 3
Be patient. This will take time and patience.
Step 4
Provide love, stability and safety. All families should give this to children, but step-children have already been through the destruction of one family, so they have some very justifiable doubts to overcome.
Step 5
Build trust with your step-children by doing as you say.
Tips & Warnings
There is no such thing as a freeze-dried dad or an instant mom. Expecting this from yourself is unrealistic.You are not a "rent-a-cop" parent. You are the real deal.Be open to the idea of professional counseling to help you, your spouse and your step-children adjust to the new facts of life.Beware a spouse that cuts you down in front of the step-children. The children quickly learn that you are not to be respected.Don't rip on the birth parents, even if they deserve it. Don't participate even if the step-children themselves rip on their birth parents.
Read more: How to Deal with Step-Children
eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2004344_deal-step-children.html#ixzz0qYTwoAQH
Read more: How to Deal with Step-Children
eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2004344_deal-step-children.html#ixzz0qYTdyB00
Read more: How to Deal with Step-Children
eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2004344_deal-step-children.html#ixzz0qYTVQXns
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment