How much dysfunction is way too much dysfunction?

So tonight I'm scrolling through our online movie account, and I notice the account reflects movies I haven't seen, and I know my spouse wouldn't watch. This isn't the first time I'm noticing films on the account that we wouldn't be watching. Like children's shows that I hadn't shown our kids. So, a few weeks ago, I ask him about it and he states he gave the account info to one of his relatives. I'm like hmm ok. But the genre of the films viewed doesn't seem like anything his relative would watch. And each day I'm noticing more films that are sophomoric in genre and couldn't possibly have been viewed by this one particular relative. My mind said to ignore it, but my heart said ask, because I suspect his ex's kid is watching these films. I suspect he gave the account code to his ex. Worse still, it bothers the hell out of me. But why????? Not like he'll actually tell the truth. Not like he respects me at all not this marriage. But, there's the pathetic side of me that hangs on to a shred of hope that just once he'll tell me the truth. I hope that he'll reassure me that I needn't worry but that is not reality. I ask, and initially he lies " it's my nephew, but your 35yr old nephew wouldn't be watching Cheetah Girls, or Wizards of Waverly Place. So it changes to " my other nephew accesses the account too". But he's 19 why would he be watching those shows.  To make matters worse, we get into an argument, he raises his voice so I raise mine back, and he locks me out of the bedroom, and I can't get my bra or shoes so I can go out for a drive to cool off, and the SOB begins recording it again. He barricades himself in the room pretending to be fearful so if I call the cops he can act as though he's the victim, and I realize when is enough enough? Why the hell did i even ask? What's the point? He does not respect me, and he doesn't care how hurt I am so why the hell do I bother??? When has dysfunction reached a point beyond reproach? When do you decide you simply can't do it anymore? When do you say living like this is too painful to bear? Every time he goes to see his family he returns home angry agitated, and cold. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling worthless, and having no voice. When is dysfunction too much????? I can't be angry, my kids see me so miserable, and he so happy. When is being fed up a point where you hate yourself for staying.  I hate myself for being here.