My mom says, "just make yourself happy".

"Just make yourself happy"! WTF does that mean? Is that the equivalent of sending a child to go play with their toys? Every time I call my mother to discuss my relationship woes, either she says deal with it because every woman goes through it, or she says my father was worse which I greatly believe. God forgive me, but had I been married to my father I think I would have jumped off a tall building.  He's was a decent enough father, decent provider, but an awful husband. And here I am trying to express my grief to a woman that has endured hell for almost 50 years? Was it Patsy Kline that sang " Stand By Your Man" as he was beating the hell out of her? But my mom tells me "just make yourself happy".  My question is how? I am miserable. I hate being at home all the time. I truly can't think of activities to keep my children preoccupied for 12-14 hours a day. From 7AM - 9PM they are awake, yelling, screaming, fighting, crying, jumping on furniture, calling each other names, and I for one cal only think of so much to keep them occupied 12-14 hours a day. I have things to do. Wash dishes, do laundry, fold laundry, mop floors, make beds, take out trash, clean toilets, scrub tubs, vacuum, look for freelance work, fix my tax problem, try to enroll in school for myself without money, search for a pro-bono divorce lawyer, looking for housing, I do this everyday. All while trying to referee 2 children, entertain them, teach them, feed them their meals plus snacks, and their father criticizes every damn thing I do. And I am supposed to make myself happy? I have no money, no friends, no one to talk to, and I am supposed to make myself happy. A bottle is Moscato numbs the pain but doesn't make me happy. I tried having sex with my douchebag husband but that made me loathe myself more. I have no money to go to the gym, so I can't relieve stress, I eat a lot but being glutton doesn't make me happy. I guess writing makes me feel better, not happy but better. Maybe happiness for me is not attainable. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy. My children make me happy when aren't driving me insane. My kids deserve better parents. If I could reinvent myself and get out if this marriage I would truly be the happy mom they deserve. Their father is a miserable deviant that gets joy from other people's sorrow.