I couldn't hear the sermon

Ok, I know this is my forum to publicly vent anonymously. Sad, but I try to keep my sanity by venting my real feelings here. Perhaps one day should anything happen to me, someone will discover this and understand my sad story. Ok. On to the point. My last post was filled with profanity and frustration. I know it's Sunday, and yes I went to mass early this morning, but I actually couldn't hear the sermon. Is that an excuse? No, but I didn't hear message God needed me to learn. I couldn't grasp the scripture verse that was meant to set my life straight. Instead my mind was filled with angry retorts for my spouse should he come at me again. Don't you hate those moments, when someone says something smart, but backhanded? And you wish you would have had a great come back? Well, that's what I spent my time in mass doing thinking of all the great comebacks I wish I'd said. I did pray, and cried, and prayed. It's embarrassing to cry in a Catholic Church. Not in an evangelical church but a Catholic Church people look at you like you're schizo. I should have heard the sermon. Oy evay.