Social misfit

This school year, got off to the same rough start as last year. My child's teacher is a self righteous, condescending know it all that talks too much, and doesn't know her place. I'm wondering, Am I too demanding? Are my expectations too high? Am I completely unrealistic? But, I have gone out of my way to be courteous, not step on people's toes, always apologizing for potentially being a nuisance, and I can't seem to click with anyone. Is it me? Am I a misfit? How come I struggle to get along with others? Why am I always so afraid of the world and scared of outcomes? I've given up on my marriage, hate my kids school, detest my kids teachers, annoyed by their physician, loathe my in -laws, irritated by my family, lack friends, and on the bring of a break down dealing with my kids & their medical problems. I myself desperately need medical care and haven't gotten any in 3 years. My hair is graying, and I'm constantly fearful of being labeled, but here I am, a damn misfit!!! I don't fucking belong any where. I'm afraid of spanking my kids, and lord knows they really are in need of extreme discipline. I want to crawl and hide somewhere and be left alone. I'm tired of being a damn misfit!!!!

Steve Harvey Show is actually good.

So I'm not a Steve Harvey fan. I never found him all that funny. Actually, I prefer Cedric the Entertainer, but I digress. So, yesterday I turn on the TV as I'm folding laundry and its on the Steve Harvey Show. The daytime talk show. As I pick up the remote to change the channel, I hear him talking about achieving success. How he achieved his success took a 5 step plan. And I'll be damned if it didnt make a lot of sense. I found myself glued to the TV for the remaining 30 minutes of the show, and tuned in for today's segments that were funny and insightful. I'm loving the tailgating 360 grill and fryer all in one. Anyway, it's a great replacement to Oprah. I'm a fan now.

Get the chip off your shoulder

I hate to play the race card, however considering I am considered aminority by majority standards I'm going to talk about some people with chips on their shoulder. For a long time I hated the stereotype of the angry black woman or the black woman with a chip on her shoulder. I have hated the DMV stereotypical angry, fat, lazy black woman with really bad attitude providing less than mediocre service to the masses. You know the Mrs. Dabney from "Good Luck Charlie". The abnoxiously rude and slow postal worker behind the counter. Ok, so today, I go to Zumba class not only is the black instructor late, but has the audoscity to have an attitude about his class beginning without him. Wait, then he asks the patrons which workout routine we want, when we answer he has the nerve to go with the other option. Wait, let's not talk about the angry black mom at the barber shop that insists on making everyone miserable including barbers and patrons because she's angry about whatever life has done to her. Cursing and carrying on in front her children and mine.  Look, as y'all may have read, my life isn't all roses. But, I am grateful to anyone who treats me or my kids with kindness and respect. I appreciate good people. I am so sick of black people, and other minorities thinking they are entitled and justified in being crass, ignorant, crude, disrespectful and ignorant. So lady with an attitude at the barber shop, Zumba instructor who was late, society doesn't owe you a damn thing and you both can kiss my ass!!!!

S.O.S please help

After an appointment with my kids doctor, I felt brow beaten, and dejected. I have begged for help from anyone who will listen, and have come to the conclusion that I am falling apart. I have been torn down everyday for 6 years, and now I am seeking help from anyone who can help me. This isn't healthy anymore, and I am not strong enough to handle it on my own.