Social misfit

This school year, got off to the same rough start as last year. My child's teacher is a self righteous, condescending know it all that talks too much, and doesn't know her place. I'm wondering, Am I too demanding? Are my expectations too high? Am I completely unrealistic? But, I have gone out of my way to be courteous, not step on people's toes, always apologizing for potentially being a nuisance, and I can't seem to click with anyone. Is it me? Am I a misfit? How come I struggle to get along with others? Why am I always so afraid of the world and scared of outcomes? I've given up on my marriage, hate my kids school, detest my kids teachers, annoyed by their physician, loathe my in -laws, irritated by my family, lack friends, and on the bring of a break down dealing with my kids & their medical problems. I myself desperately need medical care and haven't gotten any in 3 years. My hair is graying, and I'm constantly fearful of being labeled, but here I am, a damn misfit!!! I don't fucking belong any where. I'm afraid of spanking my kids, and lord knows they really are in need of extreme discipline. I want to crawl and hide somewhere and be left alone. I'm tired of being a damn misfit!!!!