Discipline a child with love

Today I woke up and told myself that I was going to make my children's day meaningful & productive. I prayed for God to give me patience and strength in dealing with them especially when their father is at home. Time and time again we argue and fight over how to discipline our children and their medical care. I do not have the financial means to do for myself, and I am having a hard time getting a job so, i have no say so in what I can provide to help improve the quality of their life, but I'm stuck. Anyway, I have 2 strong willed children who do not listen, won't follow directions unless threatened with disciplinary action such as time out, toys or TV time taken away, etc. But, I find myself yelling all the time, stop that, put that down, finish your food, finish your work, stop writing on the furniture, stop fight, stop yelling, be quiet. I swear I sound like a psychotic broken record repeating the same phrases daily. I'm stuck with them daily, and am miserable that I don't get breaks  like a job to keep me busy and distracted from my  turbulant home life. To make matters worse, I'm afraid seeking counseling for the kids and I would make matters worse.